It seems like everyone I know is having babies or wants to have them.

Two of my girlfriends are on their second babies. My former landlord recently gave birth. I just spent an hour interviewing an expecting mommy at a yoga class. And one of my co-workers just became an aunty.

I've got more baby showers and baby lu'au in my datebook than, well, dates.

What's going on?

My nonpregnant, still-single girlfriend often reminds me that it's our age.

When you hit 30, it seems like everyone — your classmates, your co-workers, the entire cosmetics department at Macy's — is suddenly getting hitched or pregnant.

And the ones who aren't — like us — start to feel really old and very awkward at the bar on Friday nights.

It's not that we don't want to have kids. We love kids! Kids are great! We're just not sure if we want to be parents.

And we don't want to feel guilty about that.

Yet, we get the questions at every wedding, at every Sunday barbecue with our married friends.

"So when's the wedding?"

"You're not engaged yet?"

"Don't you want to have kids?"

Maybe.

But what if I don't?

Does that make me a bad female?

I wasn't raised to believe that the only career a woman should have is motherhood.

The only kind of pressure my parents put on me was to get a college degree, get a job and move out already!

They'll support — unconditionally — whatever decision I make, whether that's to be a full-time mom with an armful of kids or a full-time reporter with a tank of fish.

In the end, as long as I'm happy, healthy and not hurting anyone, it's all good.

From what I've heard, I'm one lucky single gal.

I have girlfriends who are nagged incessantly about getting married and popping out grandkids for their empty-nesting parents.

I don't doubt they have good intentions in their prodding and pestering. But I don't think parents realize how much the pressure — and the guilt — hurts.

It's hard enough trying to figure out our own lives without having to worry about raising another.

I have a girlfriend who never wants to have kids. Ever. It's a decision she made in high school, when most of us weren't even thinking about getting full-time jobs.

I'll never forget her reason: she was scared she wouldn't be a good mother, that she wouldn't know how to raise her child to survive in this increasingly crazy world.

I think that's commendable — and very unselfish.

And she's not alone.

According to the 2000 Census, more women in their 40s have never had children. Families are shrinking. And women are waiting longer before jumping into marriage.

Looks like we're fast becoming the norm.

Maybe we'll start asking the questions: "So why are you having kids, again?"

Reach Catherine E. Toth at ctoth@honoluluadvertiser.com. Read her daily blog at blogs.honoluluadvertiser.com.