Little Lejend slips sometimes.

"Mommy," the 3-year-old said, looking at her great-grandmother with big, brown eyes.

"No, Lejend," Irene Chee said, "call me Grams."

Three years ago, Chee and her husband lost their granddaughter, whom they had raised from birth, in a car accident. The 24-year-old left behind five children. Lejend, the youngest, was only 3 weeks old at the time.

Until fairly recently, the couple — both well into retirement — was caring for all the kids in their big Hau'ula home, which also houses their church.

Now, only Lejend lives with them full time.

The other four children visit often from their father's house.

The Chees said they're used to being surrogate parents. They did it in their late 40s and 50s, when they raised their granddaughter and grandson.

And they're doing it again in their 60s and 70s.

Still, the financial and emotional challenges Lejend presents are significant. She needs clothes, shoes and the occasional toy, all of which draw on the couple's meager retirement income. She also alternately needs a disciplinarian's guidance, a loving caregiver's patience, steady doses of attention and plenty of recreation.

The Chees are overjoyed to have Lejend in their life, but they also worry about the future. A decade from now, when Lejend is just hitting her teen years, Irene Chee will be 75 and her husband, George, will be 80.

"I worry so much about her," Irene Chee said.

The Chees are part of a growing number of grandparents and great-grandparents in the Islands who are raising children, shuttling them to school, taking them to soccer practice, and riding out their tantrums and teenage angst.

Experts say more and more parents in Hawai'i are unable to care for their children because they are involved in drugs or are simply too young.

In rarer cases, as with the Chees, one parent dies or leaves, and the remaining spouse cannot rear the children alone.

'A HUGE UNDERTAKING'

About 26 percent of all grandparents in Hawai'i are responsible for grandchildren under 18 years old, according to the U.S. Census Bureau. That's significantly lower than the national average of 42 percent, although advocates said they suspect the actual percentage in the Islands is higher. They also said regardless of the ranking, the overall population of grandparents becoming primary caregivers is increasing.

In 2005, there were about 14,233 households in Hawai'i in which grandparents provided primary care for grandchildren. The figure marks an increase of about 204 families above the 2000 total, the Census report shows.

The Census Bureau's American Community Survey also reports that about half of grandparents raising their grandkids have done so for five or more years.

Ciacci said seniors often are overwhelmed at the prospect of becoming full-time parents again and woefully unprepared for the new challenges that come with raising a child in the 21st century.

Many also are on fixed incomes, which contributes to a higher rate of poverty in the population. About 13.4 percent of grandparents who care for grandkids live in poverty, according to the Census report. Among grandparents who are over age 60, the poverty rate is 14.8 percent. In contrast, about 9.8 percent of Hawai'i residents were in poverty last year. To be considered as living in poverty in 2005, a family of four had to earn $19,971 or less.

"The main thing here is the financial obstacles," said Jacqueline Chong, chairwoman of Na Tutu, a small advocacy group for grandparents. "If you're a foster parent, you get support from the state, but if you're a grandparent raising your grandchildren, you don't get any sort of financial assistance."

Ciacci, of Tutu and Me, said there are benefits when grandparents raise grandkids. Often, grandparents have more time to dedicate to their grandchildren and are more patient and easygoing.

"Their philosophy toward child-rearing has changed," Ciacci said, adding some grandparents feel like they've been given a second chance to raise a child. "They're looking at child-rearing with new eyes."

TRAGIC COINCIDENCE

On a recent rainy Hau'ula afternoon, Irene Chee petted her great-granddaughter's long hair, every once in a while taking tresses between her fingers to untangle them. The 3-year-old sat squarely on her lap, smiling coyly, squirming slightly. Chee said the child-raising role delights her.

Lejend, she adds, keeps her and her husband young.

Indeed, Chee moved like a woman half her age. She can scoop up Lejend and hold her with ease, run up stairs, and wake at the crack of dawn.

"I have a routine," Chee said, as she sat at her kitchen table with Lejend. "We wash up, get her clothes changed and get her ready for the day."

It's no surprise Chee is an expert at raising kids. In addition to rearing her own children, she took in two grandchildren 26 years ago when their mother died in a car accident on Kamehameha Highway in Hau'ula.

Kaimana, her grandson, was almost 2 years old at the time. Daysia Lee, Lejend's mother, was 8 months old. In a tragic twist, Lee was killed in a car accident just two miles from the spot where her mother died.

Lee had been driving home early on the morning of Oct. 30, 2003, after a night with friends.

Chee said she thought Lee was just too tired and fell asleep at the wheel.

When they talk about Lee, the Chees tear up. Lee was their baby. They watched her grow up and took care of her — and her older brother — when their father couldn't. Just before she died, they said, she was turning over a new leaf, promising to go back to school and serve as a role model for her kids.

Sometimes, Irene Chee takes Lejend to Lee's grave at the La'ie Cemetery. More often, though, when Lejend feels alone or scared or confused or upset, Chee takes her to her nightstand and points to a photo sitting next to the bed.

"This is Mommy," Chee says, pointing to a young woman in the photo. "This is your Mommy."

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