DEAR ADVICE DIVA:

A friend of mine is absolutely adorable, with one exception — she has an abnormal amount of noticeable body hair on her arms, the small of her back, and even along the side of her face, like sideburns.

I know that guys find her attractive, but I also know that behind her back they make fun of all her body hair.

I want to talk to her about it but it doesn't even seem to bother her. How can I bring this up to my friend without hurting her feelings? Should I?

—Stuck in a Hairy Situation

DEAR HAIRY SITUATION:

Ouch. This is a toughie. But you know what — in this case we would urge you to say nothing. Body hair is a cultural standard and even if she looks like Chewbacca it doesn't mean that she needs to de-hair herself just because some immature guys make fun of her. Why give her ammunition for self-hate? If she asks you, give her the name of a good waxing salon, but keep the anecdotes to yourself.

DEAR ADVICE DIVA:

In 2002, I enjoyed a brief but memorable correspondence by mail with a female I'll call "Marta." Because of circumstances beyond my control, I lost contact with her. I continued writing her letters and they were returned unopened. I was so determined that she was my soul mate that I even took out a classified ad in her city newspaper on major holidays, hoping she would see one of them. I even took art lessons so that I could draw her image on paper.

In her correspondence she gave me her birth state and occupation yet neither has been effective in locating her. My heart is getting weak with no thoughts on how to find a possible soul mate. Marta remains a love ghost as my soul pleads for help. Can I continue a normal life? My hope is that you won't say that I probably will never meet her in person — the idea of keeping this flame alive helps me deal with the disappointment of losing this one chance in a lifetime. I am very scared and yet hopeful.

— C.

DEAR C:

It's cool to be a bleeding heart romantic, within reason. But after four years of not hearing from a woman you have never met — and who possibly gave you an incorrect date of birth, and not necessarily by accident — we think it's time you did some emotional space clearing and moved on. Obsessing over her ad nauseum is as healthy as eating cow dung. Yes, your soul may ache for weeks but you will get over it in time. Love lost is nothing new, and this loss needn't define who you are.

The Advice Diva welcomes your questions — particularly the more amusing ones. Write her at advicediva@MiamiHerald.com.