You'll know you're being set up for an April Fool's Day gag today if:

The University of Hawai'i announces its completed 2008 and 2009 football schedules.

Tadd Fujikawa says he's giving up golf for basketball.

Commissioner Roger Goddell promises Pacman Jones a job in the NFL front office as roving ambassador for the league.

The NBA All-Star Game is permanently placed in Las Vegas.

Kentucky says a committee will have to screen names of prospective candidate before it hires a new men's basketball coach.

Mike Trapasso predicts a trip to the College World Series.

Colt Brennan says he's decided to leave after all.

Lance Briggs tells the Chicago Bears he'll be overpaid at $7 million and to spend some of it on a quarterback.

Billy Tubbs emerges as a finalist for the UH basketball job.

Don King asks the Pope to help him become a monk.

June Jones says he won't know until after the conclusion of spring practice who his starting quarterback will be.

Mark Cuban takes a vow of silence on NBA officiating.

Somebody tells you the UH softball team got shut out.

UH announces that, from now on, Dave Shoji will be allowed to pick the dates for his volleyball schedule before football gets its choices.

The Kansas City Royals announce they will print World Series tickets this season.

Kentucky begs Tubby Smith to please come back.

Bobby Curran leaves KKEA for what he describes as his "dream job" as chief spokesman with the Moscow, Idaho Chamber of Commerce.

The NHL votes to play its all-star game in Honolulu.

Flea markets are suspended for all UH football Saturdays.

ESPN asks to show the UH-Charleston Southern football game in prime time.

The Sheraton Hawai'i Bowl announces plans to match UH with a Division I-AA team for the next two years.

An Alaskan is favored to win the next Triple Crown of Surfing.

Eric Gagne and Kerry Wood share the Major League Baseball Ironman Award.

Billy Packer scolds the NCAA Selection Committee for not selecting enough mid-majors.

Sumo says it will add a 95-pound weight division.

J.D. Power rates Cooke Field one of the top 10 track and field facilities in the country.

David Carr announces plans for a new career as test crash dummy.

The Western Athletic Conference says it has rejected a membership overture from Notre Dame.

Reach Ferd Lewis at flewis@honoluluadvertiser.com or 525-8044.