Ladies prove 'Aging' is a hilarious delight
By Joseph T. Rozmiarek
Special to The Advertiser
A compilation of vignettes written or created from interviews by Pratibha Eastwood, Roshani Shay and others that focuses on women past the age of 60, "Aging Is Not for Sissies!" is a post-menopausal "Vagina Monologues."
These women have most of their lives behind them, but are not yet ready to go gently into that universal good night.
The 80-minute, no-intermission show has played short stands in a variety of venues, most recently a weekend run at Kumu Kahua Theatre. This weekend it has two performances at Hawai'i Pacific University.
"Age is important only for cheese," says one of the women, because "aging is simply a continuation of living." The collected stories prove that while "the old gray mare ain't what she used to be," there's plenty of life in the old girl yet.
Perhaps the most delightful proof is in the story of "Gertrude," a sprightly 89-year-old created by Sylvia Hormann-Alper. "The thing about being 89," she asserts, "is that it gives you a lot of freedom and damn little peer pressure."
In a production filled with comic irony at the physical and mental slippage that comes with age, Gertrude gets the biggest laughs.
"Give me the senility to forget those I don't like, the good fortune to run into those I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference between them."
Widowed after 64 years of marriage, she deplores the willingness of young women to divorce their husbands so quickly. "It takes so long to train them, why would you want to set them free?"
She has finally found unconditional love and delights in sharing "people food" with her dogs. Driving her own car despite poor vision, she expects everyone else "to have the good sense to get out of the way."
Jo Pruden also takes the comic route in the story of "Melindy and Me," a near tragedy in the making when a grandmother overhears her grandchildren discussing the family dog and believes herself to be the subject instead.
Blossom Lam Hoffman does a local Hawaiian piece called "Aging and the Mirror," lamenting that her breasts, once a pair of ripe mangos, have lately seemed like a couple of bags of old poi.
Roshani Shay turns "Memory and Desire" into a naughty monologue devoted to her new best friend Bob, a vibrator that resides in her handbag.
The show's most somber piece goes to Joyce Maltby. "Swan Song" is a simple letter from a woman to her children, asking for their patience when she grows too old to walk or feed herself.
Eastwood delivers the opening and closing monologues, supplies the transitions and leads the full cast in a couple of full- cast pieces.
All together, it is positive, confident and filled with the unique insight that experience can bring to the process of living. But most of all, it is peppered with droll observations that can't help but delight the over-60 audience and the open-minded younger set.
Consider this fact: More money is spent each year on Viagra and breast implants than on Alzheimer's research. This means that we'll likely soon have an aged population that looks fantastic, but that won't have the mental acuity to realize it.