I know a bunch of great dads.

Recent research shows that dads are more involved in the lives of their kids than ever before. We participate in every facet of our children's development.

Yeah, we play with our kids, but we also console them when they are hurt, correct them when they have done wrong and, perhaps most importantly, celebrate their successes. We encourage our kids to take calculated risks and to trust in their strengths.

Save the applause. I do not think dads (or moms) should hear the echo of fanfare for doing what they are supposed to be doing. I chose to have a child, and with that choice comes responsibilities. Still, I can hear the voices around me all the time.

"Look, he is so patient with his daughter, he would never hurt her."

She is my daughter and I love her, I am not supposed to beat her! There are better ways to teach and to learn. Discipline does not have to hurt.

"Oh, he is so good; he takes his daughter to soccer practice every Monday and Wednesday."

She is my daughter and she loves the game. Besides, soccer teaches personal and team skills that will help her in life. I am supposed to support her and encourage her to follow her dreams!

"He is great; he helps his daughter with her homework every night."

Hey, I signed up for this job and can think of few things more important and more rewarding than supporting my daughter through life.

While most dads chose their lot in life and the majority are doing a fine job, the same cannot be said for uncles. It is not that uncles are performing poorly, but the reality is that they did not sign up for uncle duty. For this reason, I think it is easier to find a terrific dad than it is to find a stellar uncle. But I know one.

His name is Carl and he has a niece and a nephew. Just a few weeks ago, I stopped by his house and found him putting the finishing touches on a new "grill" for his nephew. Carl is a tech guy at the University of Hawai'i, but he also is a trained chef. When not fixing computers for feeble-minded folk like me, he is cooking up haute cuisine worthy of a Michelin star. His nephew wants nothing more than to be just like uncle.

At 3 years old, little Wyatt is a bit young for a real gas grill, so Uncle Carl built a play grill complete with a cardboard-box carcass, dowel grill plate and compact-disc burners.

He even made a temperature gauge out of an old film canister. The only thing missing was a child's imagination, which surely his nephew will provide.

More important than the grill is the time that Carl will spend with is nephew creating imaginary recipes (all from scratch, of course).

Carl is caring and creative, but more importantly, he is generous with his time. Yes, he does the cool things, like making the grill, but he also does the little things that matter most. He is gentle with the kids and treats them with a soft hand. He picks them up from the sitter and plays with them in the afternoon.

He does everything a wonderful uncle could do but does not have to do, and for that, he will always be No. 1 in my book.

Michael C. DeMattos is a member of the faculty at the University of Hawai'i School of Social Work. Born and raised on the Wai'anae Coast, he now lives in Kane'ohe with his wife, daughter, two dogs and two mice.