Our 10-year-old has a lot to learn about tact and political correctness, but usually when he says something rude, it's deliberate. (Yes, he has a lot to learn about being polite, too).

Our 3-year-old, on the other hand, hasn't yet learned to censor herself. As soon as something pops into her head, it seems to tumble right out of her mouth.

It's not atypical. Little kids were put on earth to point out which grown-ups they think are too fat, too short, too bald and too ugly.

We need 'em. They keep us humble.

But what do you do when some little kid says something careless that hurts the feelings of your own little kid?

I'm not talking about teasing or bullying or anything like that. It's more akin to a kid pointing at someone with a strange dye job in a grocery line and shouting: "Mommy! That lady has purple hair!"

Yesterday morning, one of my daughter's new classmates looked over at my daughter and observed aloud: "She's not as big as us."

There was nothing incorrect or inappropriate about what the girl said.

The age range in the class is 3 to 5. My daughter is definitely on the smaller end.

I just wish the girl hadn't felt compelled to point out the obvious.

My daughter is having a hard time dealing with her "promotion" to an older class, but she keeps pumping herself up by regularly announcing that she's a big girl. I'm not even allowed to call her cute because, as she informs me, she's not a baby any more.

It was a rude awakening for her to go from a classroom where she was the oldest to one where many of the other students tower over her.

She knows she's a little big girl ... and she doesn't like it. In a vulnerable moment, she told me that she wanted to play by herself because she's too small to make friends.

I'm sure my daughter's efforts to convince me not to abandon her in a class full of giants led to her classmate's comment on her vertical challenges.

The other girl probably just didn't know to use the word "mature" instead of "big."

It doesn't matter what she said, though. She managed to sting my daughter just by singling her out as different.

I've never seen my daughter care about fitting in before. It seems like she makes friends wherever we go. It didn't occur to me that she'd have a hard time making friends in the place where she needs them most.

I'm sure she'll figure it out ... probably just in time to say goodbye as the biggest kids head off to kindergarten.

Reach Treena Shapiro at tshapiro@honoluluadvertiser.com.