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The Honolulu Advertiser
Posted on: Thursday, June 21, 2007

Motorists beware: Rules just got tougher

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You know who you are.

You're the one behind the wheel who weaves between lanes, ignores traffic signals and yells obscenities out the window. Your vigilant watch for law enforcement may have kept you safe from punishment — so far. But now you'll have an even higher power to answer to — one whose watchful eye isn't easy to avoid.

God.

Yes, God.

The delivery may not have been as dramatic as the Ten Commandments, but nevertheless, the Vatican has issued a new set of warnings tailor-made for motorists. Strange as it may sound, the papal mandates reinforce familiar themes:

  • The road shall be for you a means of communion between people and not of mortal harm. Translation: Cut the road rage.

  • Courtesy, uprightness and prudence will help you deal with unforeseen events. Translation: Put down the cell phone. Now.

  • Charitably convince the young and not-so-young not to drive when they are not in a fitting condition to do so. Translation: Don't drink and drive.

  • Cars shall not be for you an expression of power and domination, and an occasion of sin. Translation: 1) Get over yourself; 2) Get a room.

    So you see, the Vatican is merely adding some heft to rules you should already be abiding by — legally, and now, morally.

    Sure, it may seem like a lot to ask when roads are congested and you're late for that morning meeting.

    But before you go back to your old, sinful ways, remember: Someone up there is watching.