One is Chinese. Another, Filipino. There's a Japanese guy who left Hawai'i for the bright lights and smog-choked skies of Hollywood. The Korean guy? That would be the one with the last name Shea.

All are Asian-American comedians pooling their wit for this weekend's two-island Asian Kings of Comedy tour. Tonight's Honolulu stop takes over the Hawai'i Theatre. Maui curious can catch them Saturday at the Maui Arts & Cultural Center's Castle Theater.

Self-proclaimed Borscht-Belt-influenced "godfather of Asian comedy" Shecky Wong wouldn't drop character for our little newspaper. Edwin San Juan talked about really feeling Filipino in Hawai'i. Kevin Shea got another two years added to his 20s on a trip to South Korea. Our town's own Paul Ogata? You'll likely find him mainlining chicken katsu offstage tonight.

I asked the guys about Asian-American comedy tours, trading ethnicities and a certain defunct rock supergroup named after a continent close to their hearts.

PAUL OGATA

So you've been living in L.A. for the last year and have a gripe about the poke.

You can't find good local food (in L.A.). Good Hawaiian food. There's a Japanese restaurant called Katsu near where I live that a) doesn't serve any katsu, and b) serves something called "poki." With an "i"! ... I was dismayed. I wanted to ask them, but the owner is Mexican.

Was the Asian Kings of Comedy show's lineup designed as a blend of Asian ethnicities?

It just kind of happened that way. All four of us have worked together in Los Angeles a number of times in different combinations ... and are friends. ... It wasn't a conscious effort, like, "OK, now we need a Laotian."

What's the benefit for Asian-American comedians in grouping together based on backgrounds and touring together?

It opens doors. It creates a marketing niche that promoters can hook on to. There still aren't a lot of Asian comedians, as a percentage of the entire segment of the world of comedians. It's good (in the sense that) it opens people's eyes to the world of Asian-American comedians.

I entered your name on a Web search engine and also got the query, "Did you mean Paul 'OSAMA'?" Should I read anything into that?

(Laughs hard.) You found me! ... (Pauses and continues laughing.) I can't believe (a search engine) actually asked you that! It's not like my name even remotely resembles terrorism like Barack Obama, where his first name rhymes with Iraq and his last name rhymes with Osama. ... That's horrible!

KEVIN SHEA

You call your post-adoptive childhood — you were born in Korea, but adopted at age 7 by an Irish-American Pennsylvania couple — a combination of "All in the Family" and "Diff'rent Strokes." Were the Sheas more Bunker or Drummond?

Probably more the Bunkers. ... My dad was very non-P.C., but funny. He was a lot like Archie. He would make fun of us being Asians. ... He was grumpy. And then my mom was this supersweet lady who didn't know what was going on ... just milling around the house cleaning it up.

If you could be any other Asian ethnicity, what would you choose?

How dare you ask me that? (Laughs.) Korean! I just went back to Korea last year for the first time since being adopted. February 9th (last year) was my 30th birthday. I met my birth mother the following day and she told me, "Well, Kevin, you're not 30, you're actually 28."

Wow! What did that do to you?

I was, like, "Oh my God, she's like a magical wizard!" I went from 30 to 28 in a day! What was funny is that I told that story to a bunch of friends back at home. And they were, like, "She was probably too poor to buy you a real gift." (Laughs hard.)

Anything else cool happen in Korea?

I got to meet my grandmother. That was nice. She looks like Kim Jong Il. The haircut. The big glasses. I was, like, "This is hilarious!"

SHECKY WONG

Has comedian Shecky Greene ever threatened litigation over your stage name?

If he did, I've got a good Jewish lawyer. We'd probably settle with a nice Chinese dinner.

What did you have to do to become the "godfather of Asian comedy" ... order a hit on Johnny Yune?

I think that was a term coined by the younger generation of (Asian-American) comics who saw me on shows like "Star Search" and said they remembered me (from) when they were only 10 years old. Those little bastards!

What's the benefit in grouping yourselves off by your Asian backgrounds and going out on tour?

Well, for the most part, we can always borrow black clothing should one of us forget our own. Also, (there's) no problems dividing the check into equal parts. But seriously, we're targeting a niche market. In all my years doing the comedy-club scene in New York City, I rarely saw Asian faces in the crowd. So if they won't come to us, (we) go to them.

You're a snappy dresser, Shecky. Does it give you an edge?

I was a big fan of the Rat Pack, and they've been a big influence on how I dress.

The Rat Pack could've used an Asian American. How would you have completed Dean, Sammy, Frank, Peter and Joey?

Those times were different. Sammy had a hard time playing some of those rooms, being a black man. I'd probably end up doing their laundry in those days.

EDWIN SAN JUAN

You identify yourself on your Web site as a Filipino comedian who was made in Taiwan. Care to explain?

I'm a military brat. My dad was in the Navy, so my family was born all over the place. My two older brothers were born in Guam, my sister in West Virginia, and me in Taiwan.

What fuels your comedy most?

My relationship with my girlfriend at the moment, because she's looking over my shoulder right now. I can feel her breathing, and it smells like Spam sushi.

I was in a Costco in Southern California once and a stranger came up and began talking to me in fluent 55-mph Spanish. Are you excited to be coming to Hawai'i, where you'll likely be recognized immediately as Filipino, and not Spanish, Mexican or something else?

The last time I was in Hawai'i, people were asking me for directions. It happened so often that I bought a map and started charging people.

If you could be any non-Asian ethnicity, what would you be?

I'd be Jamaican, because I like the trees over there.

Are you more upset that the rock group Asia didn't have any Asians, or that their music really stank?

A band called Asia with no Asians! That's like a Filipino pointing with his fingers. It cracks me up how everybody makes fun of Asians but then (are) so quick to eat our food, bite our styles, and take our women!

Reach Derek Paiva at dpaiva@honoluluadvertiser.com.