TONIGHT'S MUST-SEE

"Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King" (2003), 5 p.m., TBS. On a great night for movies, this is the leader. Director Peter Jackson remembered to include a warm, human scale, alongside his stunning visuals. Elijah Woods, Sean Astin and others made us care about the little guys on a big mission. This matches the splendor of the first two films and adds one thing more — an ending. Or, actually, about eight endings. After two or three, you might flip the channel. Catch second part "The Two Towers" at 1:15 p.m.

"Saturday Night Live," 10:30 p.m., NBC. Last weekend, NBC re-stirred our interest in the show's past, with a "Saturday Night Live in the '90s" special. Now it has Molly Shannon, one of those '90s people, as host. The musical guest is Linkin Park.

OF NOTE

Basketball, 2 p.m., preview and 2:15 p.m. game, ABC. The NBA tourney continues.

"World Hamburger Eating Championship" (2 p.m.) and "Hot Dog Eating Contest" (3 p.m.), ESPN2. Before you enjoy this too much, you might want to see the "CSI" episode below.

"Kill Bill: Vol. 1" (4 p.m., 2003) and "Kill Bill: Vol. 2" (6:15 p.m., 2004), TNT. Quentin Tarantino began filming this as a single epic, then split it into two movies. Here they are together, with Uma Thurman as a bitter bride, seeking revenge.

"Cold Case," 7 p.m., CBS. In this rerun, Stillman (John Finn), a Vietnam veteran, obsesses on a 1973 case, in which a former prisoner-of-war was killed eight months after returning from Vietnam.

"Meet the Parents" (2000), 8 and 10:30 p.m., ABC Family. Imagine being a fretful guy, meeting your girlfriend's father. Now imagine the father is Robert De Niro, complete with an attitude and a polygraph machine. The result - with Ben Stiller and Teri Polo as the young couple — is fun.

"Cold Mountain" (2003), 8 p.m., USA Network. This Civil War tale is beautifully filmed by Anthony Minghella, the "English Patient" director. There are superb performances, including an Emmy-winner for Renee Zellweger. The film only lacks a satisfying way to wrap up.

"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation," 8 p.m., CBS. These rerun centers on the death of an obese man. Detectives look into the nasty world of competitive eating.

"Law & Order: Special Victims Unit," 8 p.m., NBC. When someone dies after underage drinking, Stabler starts a probe, in this rerun. His teen daughter helps him work the Internet, to find the next party.

"Law & Order," 9 p.m., NBC. This rerun has Mariel Hemingway as a model whose son suddenly dies. The case leads to someone improperly selling body parts.