Preparing for it can feel almost on par with wedding planning. Rumor has it that some families even take out loans to fund it. And the person who is being honored will not even remember it.

It is none other than the first birthday, aka baby lu'au.

The very first time I was asked to attend a 1-year-old's celebration here, I was impressed by the elaborate invitation.

"Is the first birthday a big to-do?" I questioned the mother.

"Oh, yes!" she replied. It was a good thing my friend was on the phone or else, despite her gracious nature, I probably would have seen her arch her eyebrows quizzically at my naivete.

Still, it would take some time before I understood the typical magnitude of first-year festivities. Even when passing by a lu'au in the park, I wondered why such a large group of people was in attendance. Could a young child already have so many friends?

As I investigated further, it became apparent that big bashes were the norm. On the subject of birthday parties, one childcare book I owned recommended only inviting as many friends as the child's age. One guest at a baby lu'au? Obviously the author was not local.

More of our friends began having children, and, in what seemed like the blink of an eye, their once near-helpless infants would be on the brink of toddlerhood: walking, talking and turning 1. My husband and I attended a number of the one-year celebrations, which ranged from all-out country club affairs to homespun get-togethers. No matter what style or setting, all were enjoyable.

The gatherings also had a number of things in common: dozens of guests, abundant food, cute favors, some form of entertainment or games, a way to commemorate the past year, and, of course, the adorable and innocent birthday keiki.

One 1-year-old slept soundly while the guests sang "Happy Birthday" and his parents blew out the candles on the cake.

A mere month after our infant was born, traditional Chinese culture called for a large celebration, but I had not even checked my e-mail inbox by that time, let alone mustered up the energy to plan a proper baby lu'au. A first-year fete sounded like a much more realistic proposition.

A few months before our daughter's birthday, we began to plan. Questions ran through our minds. What should the theme be? Should the party be indoors or out? How about decorations? Creating the guest list, ordering food, developing a slide show ... this was all reminiscent of wedding preparations.

Finally the big day arrived. The details of how it went, the highlights and foibles, comprise a story for another day. However, suffice it to say that it will be fondly remembered for years to come.

Despite my initial wonderment at the extent to which first birthdays are celebrated, after attending many such gatherings and hosting our daughter's own, I am now a believer. The birth of a child and the extraordinary year of change that follows certainly deserve to be commemorated by 'ohana and friends.

First-birthday celebrants, party on!

Monica Quock Chan is a freelance writer who lives in Honolulu with her husband and daughter.