On the eve of my daughter's birthday, I tried to broker an impossible deal.

When you're done being 4, I proposed, why don't you go back to being 3?

"But then I can't learn how to read," she argued. "I won't get to grow up!"

By the time the garbage truck hauled away the wrapping from all her gifts a couple of days later, however, it started to occur to her that there were downsides to being 5.

It all came to a head the night before her kindergarten assessment. I encouraged her to shower early so she could get enough rest before the test.

At that moment she realized, as if for the first time, that all this preschool graduation and birthday business was just a build-up to the scary unknown.

"What if I don't know the answers?" she asked.

As I tried to reassure her that it wasn't that kind of test, another thought popped into her head: "What if I never see my friends again?"

Although I'd known this day would come, I wasn't any more emotionally prepared for it than she was. As she teared up, so did I.

As much as I wanted to, I couldn't promise her that she'd see her friends again, some of whom she's known since she was 18 months old. But I could take proactive measures.

I taught her to use the phone, in case she ever had the opportunity to call her preschool friends for a play date. I also helped her print out labels for small goodbye gifts that let people know how to get in touch with her.

Most of all, though, I assured her that even if her school changed, she'd still have the same family. To help drive the point home, I brought out the two necklaces I'd been planning to save for the first day of school. One pendant was a heart that said "Love." The heart fit into the other pendant, which read "Always." She chose the latter.

As she fretted about having to go off with a kindergarten teacher without me, I assured her that I'd wait outside. If she was worried, she's have a heart next to her heart to comfort her ... always.

When she's not being a reporter, Treena Shapiro is busy with her real job, raising a son and daughter. See her blog at www.HonoluluAdvertiser.com/Blogs.