The question is inevitable.

As we prepared for my daughter's preschool graduation, everyone eventually asked it.

Can you fail preschool?

It's not like high school, college or even the eighth grade. There are no credits to earn, requirements to fulfill or homework to suffer through.

Still, there's a rigor to preschool. Kids have to learn to do things for themselves, wait their turns, share with their friends and navigate their way through awkward social situations.

Along the way, they're also learning the alphabet and numbers, how to use scissors and even picking up rudimentary reading and writing skills. None of this is a prerequisite for kindergarten, but the kids will be better prepared because of it. Why not celebrate everything they've already accomplished?

They deserve a party ... even one so grandiose that my 12-year-old is threatening to boycott.

I understand where he's coming from. His preschool marked the kindergartners' departure with a simple middle-of-the-school-day performance, which was unbelievably sweet and very low-key. Seven years later, I still smile when I remember the kids — wearing macaroni lei, not graduation caps — putting their arms around each other and singing, "The World is a Rainbow."

There were no graduation photos, rehearsals, frantic shopping for aloha wear that doesn't itch, gift shopping, ordering of balloons, special lunches or arguments over whether it's OK for a 4-year-old to wear shoes with heels to school if it's a special occasion and a Saturday. (I say it's not.)

The thing is, the mellow get-together fit my son's personality as much as all this pomp and circumstance suits my daughter.

And grumble as he might, I know he's interested in seeing what all the fuss is about. He might even be proud, although I don't expect him to ever admit it.

It's OK. I'll be proud enough for the both of us.

When she's not being a reporter, Treena Shapiro is busy with her real job, raising a son and daughter. She blogs at www.honoluluadvertiser.com.