DALLAS — Memo to Jerry Jones: Don't even think about acquiring Pacman Jones.

Not today. Not next month. Not ever.

He ain't worth it.

You can't trust him. How could you? We have 44 strip clubs in Dallas. Another 14 in Fort Worth. And eight more in Arlington.

You don't have enough security to prevent him from "making it rain" in Dallas-Fort Worth. Even if you did, he could fly down to Houston on his off day and find 45 more strip clubs. Or head to Austin, which has 14 strip clubs. Or San Antonio, which has 20 topless joints.

Pacman is currently serving a suspension for violating the NFL's player conduct policy time after time after time.

He didn't even play last year, and there's no guarantee league commissioner Roger Goodell will let him play this year. You know why? He makes dumb decision after dumb decision after dumb decision.

But it's easy to see why the Cowboys have had internal discussions about whether to acquire Pacman.

He's a phenomenal talent. A game breaker. A difference maker. The kind of player who can change the game on defense and special teams any time he touches the ball.

That's why Tennessee took him with the 6th pick of the 2005 draft, despite his off-the-field issues at West Virginia.

If Pacman had the slightest bit of common sense, he'd be one of the NFL's most popular and marketable players. Instead, he's the poster child for why fools and their money soon part.

Jerry, though, is desperate to win.

He's embarrassed by the 11-year drought without a playoff win. And he's frustrated by last year's debacle against the Giants, which is what it was, regardless of New York's Super Bowl win.

Jerry is so desperate, you know he's willing to add Pacman to the roster, whether it's signing him as a free agent if he's released, or working a trade with Tennessee.

Understand, the thought of adding Pacman to the Cowboys' roster is not revolting because of his numerous off-the-field issues. Professional sports is not about signing boy scouts and choir boys, it's about winning championships.

Teams don't have a moral responsibility to sign players who do charity work and provide our children with outstanding role models. Considering the outrageous ticket prices, a team's first commitment to its fans is putting a winner on the field.

In the last few years, Jerry has signed other players with off-the-field issues such as Terrell Owens, Tank Johnson and even Alonzo Spellman.

Each had his own unique set of circumstances.

Say what you want about T.O., but he has never had any legal issues worth noting. The worst thing you can say about him is that he's occasionally selfish. In the big picture, that's not really that bad.

Johnson, who spent four months in jail prior to the 2007 season, has obviously had legal issues, but he was signed to be a role player. So was Spellman, who was battling a mental disorder.

Pacman's talent won't let him be a role player. He's going to be a starter, sooner or later, and the Cowboys will rely on him to help them win games.

And that's when he'll do something stupid.

It's only a matter of time before he breaks the owner's heart and puts a season in jeopardy.

You know it. I know it.

Even Jerry knows it, but the lure of winning another Super Bowl has him so intoxicated, he's probably trying to convince himself he can overlook Pacman's flaws.

We all know what would happen at the news conference to announce Pacman's arrival. Jerry would talk about his player development department and how consultants Calvin Hill and Dr. Jacqualene Stephens are among the best in the country at relating to players and working with them to change their behavior.

He'll talk about how the Cowboys have had few off-the-field issues the last several years, and how the club has a support system that will bring out the best in Pacman.

Then Pacman's agent will talk about how his client is a changed man. And we'll hear testimonials from former teammates or coaches such as Ray Sherman on how Pacman is really a quality young man with a good heart, who just happens to make bad decisions on occasion.

All of the words will be heartfelt and spoken with sincerity. They might even be true.

None of that matters.

He's proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that he's a knucklehead. All he can bring the Cowboys is embarrassment.

They don't need him to win a Super Bowl.