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ABOUT WOMEN By
Christine Strobel
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The boys looked at me, wondering if they'd gone too far. A hesitation in their eyes revealed their misgivings about saying anything more.
But I encouraged them to continue, and promised I wouldn't get all hormonal about it. After all, we'd already talked at length about a neighbor who (it was rumored) swings naked from a contraption inside her window-abundant bedroom, and we needed to talk about something else while we waited for her to make a hoped-for appearance.
Here's what was going on: We were at our friend's wedding at his parents' place in Portlock, and as always seems to happen at weddings, gender relations came up.
I don't remember the context of the statement, but it came flying out of him: "Man, I'd hate being a woman."
Which was quickly and enthusiastically seconded by his brother: "Yeah, seriously."
I cocked my head. "Really? Why?"
That's when they gave me the look.
But I was genuinely curious. We had beers, everyone was loose — this was an excellent opportunity to broaden our understanding of the other sex. But I think I had to promise twice that it was a consequence-free environment.
It worked. They started rattling off reasons like items on a grocery list:
I couldn't keep up with it all, so quickly, so authoritatively were the reasons coming at me. There were several others I missed. When there was a gap for me to comment, the first thing out of my mouth was knee-jerk — or just jerk:
"Wow, I guess it does suck to be a woman."
But the thing is, it doesn't. It's just more complicated.
I guess I'd never really thought about what it is to be female. I'd thought about it in light of having a career, or a family, and how being a woman colors that. But I never spent much time pondering it as a biological reality. Except maybe at the gynecologist's. Or when a girlfriend and I gushed about the bathroom at thirtyninehotel because its vanity items included tampons. That's looking out for the ladies.
While it does bug me that it's unsafe at night for women to be out alone (and whom do we take to task for that?), the rest of it is just ... me.
My life isn't worse because of my reproductive organs or the gender norms that are manifest in society. But from the perspective of a man who's never experienced them, I can see why he wouldn't want to find out.
I guess that's why we have to keep aiming for a society that provides parity and protections for all. Less chance of us going all hormonal on you.
Reach Christine Strobel at cstrobel@honoluluadvertiser.com.
