Gov. Linda Lingle is back in town, so let's poke fun at her before she leaves again as we "flASHback" on the week's news that amused and confused:

• Lingle will entertain 600 guests at her annual GOP ball with a speech on leadership. I guess with all the stock losses, they can't afford a band this year.

• The governor returned home after a Mainland campaign swing for John McCain, but leaves again next month for a conference in Bali. Staying airborne is one way to keep the red ink dripping off the state budget from staining her toes.

• Despite the state's cries of poverty, tax collections are up. Wouldn't you know that if anybody's making money in this economy, it's the government.

• The Health Department will close on Fridays while employees test a four-day workweek. Makes sense. That's the day folks call in sick, anyway.

• Barack Obama said he was only 8 when former supporter William Ayers ran the Weather Underground and he couldn't be expected to know. And we can't expect a president who doesn't know history to make it.

• McCain wants to buy $300 billion worth of failed mortgages. Like he doesn't have enough houses already.

• Hawai'i Sen. Daniel Inouye assured jurors at the corruption trial of Alaska Sen. Ted Stevens that his fellow octogenarian's word is "good enough to take to the bank." That's apparently what the oil services company that allegedly gave Stevens $250,000 in gifts thought.

• A 70-year-old woman was accused of punching out her daughter's 20-year-old ex-boyfriend. Now there's a senior citizen who could fight for us in the U.S. Senate.

• U.S. Supreme Court justices hearing a dispute over Navy sonar say they must balance the danger to whales against the danger of a North Korean sub sneaking into Hawai'i waters. Yeah, we can't have the Koreans blowing up whales.

• The parent of interisland airline go! got a labor deal with its pilots after 10 months of negotiations. The talks dragged out because the pilots had trouble staying awake.

• Hawaiian Electric Co. says telephone impersonators are asking its customers for personal info. If any callers say they're from the light company and want to know what turns you on, hang up.

And the quote of the week, from U.S. Supreme Court Justice Stephen Breyer to lawyers in the Navy sonar case: "You are asking us who know nothing about whales and less about the military to start reading all these documents to try to figure out who's right." What do they think he is, a judge or something?

David Shapiro, a veteran Hawai'i journalist, can be reached by e-mail at dave@volcanicash.net. His columns are archived at www.volcanicash.net. Read his blog, Volcanic Ash, at www.HonoluluAdvertiser.com/Blogs.