Q. Our 16-year-old daughter constantly tells her younger siblings what to do and how to do it and that the way they do things isn't good enough. It creates daily friction in the family. What can we do to make it stop?

A. A sense of humor would help. Fifty-plus years ago, parents took child rearing seriously, but they took kids with the proverbial grain of sodium chloride. Today's parents take child rearing seriously, but they also tend to take everything their kids do seriously as well. This drains the potential humor out of raising kids. I have a theory that Americans love TV family sitcoms because that's the only arena where parenting is still funny.

Today's parents have also made the grave mistake of paying entirely too much attention to and becoming overly involved with their children. The almost inevitable consequence is that their children come to depend on them to solve all manner of problems that kids were once upon a time expected to solve for themselves. In clinical terms, it's called codependency.

"Parents shouldn't be involved with their children?" an incredulous parent exclaims.

This involvement stuff is less than 50 years old, you know. Once upon a time, not so long ago, children lived in one world and adults lived in another. Cross-cultural exchange took place, but that was the exception, not the rule. Today, involvement is the crux of good parenting.

It's a ubiquitous state of micromanagement. When parents micromanage, kids whine, usually that life isn't fair. A predictable theme of all this complaining has to do with being treated unfairly by siblings, which brings me back to your question.

When younger kids complain about their older sister, you probably make the mistake of trying to solve the problem. Your involvement whips their conflict into a soap opera, replete with yelling and tears and general gnashing of braces. You need to deal with this with a sense of humor. Instead of an intergenerational drama, turn it into your very own sitcom. The next time the younger kids come to you with tales of woe concerning older sis, just say, "I love you too!" and walk away, singing the first verse and chorus from "Jumpin' Jack Flash" (Google 'em). After they recover from their disorientation, they will catch up to you, complaining ever more loudly. Turn around and say, "Life is good!" (Sing the opening lines from "Stairway to Heaven.") It's important that you look like a permanent resident of La-La Land. Just keep doing this until they give up, which they will — eventually.

Family psychologist John Rosemond answers parents' questions on his Web site at www.rosemond.com.