If we had such a thing as a comedy calendar, it would be full. The only reason such a calendar doesn't exist in the yearly planners, Blackberries and iCalendars of Honolulans is there aren't usually enough comedians visiting the Islands to warrant one. But guess what? There's some serious comedy coming our way, which means there's plenty to fill a calendar. So here it is: your comedy calendar.

The storm of stand-up starts with the Sledge-O-Matic. That's right, people, Gallagher still does what he does, and he'll be doing it here as one of On Stage Hawaii's featured guests for its "Comedy Nights at Pipeline Cafe" series. Brace yourself. Watermelons will fly.

Pipeline Cafe, 6 and 9 p.m. today; $35 general, $50 VIP, $65 with buffet. www.ticketmaster.com, 877-750-4400.

Comic turns teacher for a workshop titled "Inside the Comic's Mind." If you dare find out, Gallagher will be the guest of honor at this "Inside the Actor's Studio" spinoff where aspiring comedians, actors and performers will have the chance to pick Gallagher's brain for advice and tips on making it big in the funny business.

Dave & Buster's, 11 a.m. today; free. 265-7661, www.hawaiifunnybusiness.com.

The woman who united all womanhood in laughter with her spot-on standup bit about nail ("just one") salons returns to Honolulu. Anjelah Johnson will give five performances over five days.

Cirque Hawaii Showroom, 8:30 p.m. nightly Oct. 1-5; $20, on sale at the Cirque Hawaii box office or charge by phone at 922-0017.

With a screech and a squint, Gilbert Gottfried is still as obnoxiously, irreverently, gratingly funny as ever. And he's dirty. Don't bring the keiki.

Pipeline Cafe, 6 and 8:30 p.m. Wednesday; $25 general, $50 VIP. www.ticketmaster.com, 877-750-4400.

There's no way to prepare for a Paula Poundstone show because even if you brace yourself for one of her audience interactions, you'll still be caught off-guard. What you can expect is plenty of irreverence and spontaneity.

Pipeline Cafe, 6 and 8:30 p.m. Oct. 15; $25 general, $50 VIP. www.ticketmaster.com, 877-750-4400.

Star of the movie "Super High Me" and, to VH1 fans, the "pop culture bachelor," Doug Benson, also known for his work in the "Marijuana-Logues," obviously thinks making fun of other people's serious projects is funny. Who are we to argue?

Pipeline Cafe, 6 and 8:30 p.m. Oct. 22; $25 general, $50 VIP. www.ticketmaster.com, 877-750-4400.

"The Daily Show with Jon Stewart" correspondent Demetri Martin is the stand-up guy of the moment, and he's funny.

Martin: "I like parties, but I don't like piñatas because the piñata promotes violence against flamboyant animals. Hey, there's a donkey with some pizzazz. Let's kick its ass. What I'm trying to say is, don't make the same Halloween costume mistake that I did."

See?

Pipeline Cafe, 8 p.m. Oct. 26; $25 general, $50 VIP. www.ticketmaster.com, 877-750-4400.

Coming up: Comics Ralphie May and Robert Schimmel will round out On Stage Hawaii's comedy series at Pipeline Cafe. May is scheduled to perform at 6 and 8:30 p.m. Oct. 29; Schimmel at 6 and 8:30 p.m. Dec. 3. Tickets for each show are $25 general, $50 VIP and are available at www.ticketmaster.com, 877-750-4400.

Happening now: Today is the second of a three-day improv comedy festival that features the very best of local improv artists, as well as a few visiting guest troupes. "Improvaganza" is the third annual improv-centric event that includes seven performances over three nights at three venues.

Showtimes for tonight and tomorrow are 7:30 and 10 p.m. at The ARTS at Marks Garage, and 8 p.m. at the Mendonca Building (the new TAG theater).

The shows feature three improv troupes and run approximately 90 minutes. All tickets are $10 and are available at the door one hour before show time. Advance tickets are available for no extra charge through www.honoluluboxoffice.com or 550-TIKS.