We think of playgrounds as a public haven for kids of all ages, but too often, they can be a cause of anxiety for children and their parents. Unruly and unsupervised children, dirty and broken equipment and uncooperative guardians are common stressors that make parents think twice before taking their kids.

With a little common-sense preparation, however, public parks and playgrounds can provide an outlet for kids' energies and enjoyment for families. We went to parents and childcare experts to talk about playground etiquette and safety.

CHECK IT OUT

"Parents should check the equipment prior to letting their children use it," said Kama'aina Kids' director of operations Buffy Owens.

Look out for equipment that is rusty or falling apart, has jagged edges, broken glass or areas where a child's head could get stuck, and stay away from a site littered with animal droppings or hazardous refuse.

SUPERVISION: A MUST

Keeping an eye on your children helps keep them safe.

Father of two Michael Ingraham, 45, of Pacific Heights, says his children don't need to be near him at all times, but they need to be where he can see them at all times.

"I tell (my kids) 'If you can't see me then I can't see you; you need to move where we can see each other,' " said Ingraham.

Experts agree, adult supervision is necessary to keep children as safe as possible. Owens, who has more than 40 years of early-childhood development experience, says it can be as simple as saying, "Stay close to me so I can see how much fun you're having!"

SOCIAL SKILLS

Some parents drive by the park, see a few people playing and continue driving past. Others see it as an opportunity to socialize, and pull into the parking lot.

"I try to be very enthusiastic in front of my child, encouraging her to play and share with other children," said Erica Ishii, 37, of Hawai'i Kai. "I want her to view the other child's desire to play as positive rather than negative."

"We try to make sure the kids are social with other people," said Ingraham. "Talking to other kids and adults is OK as long as I can see, but if I see a suspicious-looking individual, I discreetly tell (my child) to avoid that person."

Owens says that parents go to public parks for two reasons: to let their children interact with other children their age who share the same interests, and so they can chat with other parents. Both provide benefits.

SHARING SNACKS

One of the first life lessons we learn is that we must share. Even Barney tells us, "Sharing is caring." This rule is great, except when you're dealing with other peoples' children.

"If we bring snacks to the park, (and) we have enough to share, we make sure the other kids ask their parents before they eat it," says Ingraham.

Offering snacks to other children is acceptable once you have the OK from the child's guardian; you never know what allergies the child has, or what they are and are not allowed to eat.

If there aren't enough snacks to go around, parents can be courteous by eating in a different area or snacking before they go to the playground.

NOT MY KID

Perhaps one of the more controversial issues on the playground: dealing with other peoples' children. What do you do when another parent's child is pushing or picking on your little one?

The Early Education Center's program director, Cynthia Larson, says that approaching a child or parent is tricky because you never know how others will react. The best thing is to get your message across in the most polite yet direct way possible, Larson suggests. You don't want to overstep your boundaries, but it is important to stand up for your child and keep him or her safe.

Parents Ingraham and Ishii both use the "approach the child" method.

"I (am) usually assertive and ask the child not to do something specific, then give the reason," says Ishii who uses explanations as the key to her playground success. "For example, 'Please don't push people down. Someone could get very hurt.' "

At the end of the day, child development experts and parents agree that it is important to remember some basic rules of the playground.

If there are posted rules, parents should read them to their children, and explain why these rules are in place.

They should not encourage roughhousing and running on playground structures, and any broken structures should be reported immediately.

Finally, parents should encourage children to be kind and social. Parents can lead by example, by chatting with and being courteous to other parents and guardians.

"(There) are the same ground rules for playing anywhere," says Ishii, "treat everyone nicely, try your best to share, ask if you need help and wait your turn."