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The Honolulu Advertiser
Posted on: Friday, December 18, 2009

ADVERTISER CHRISTMAS FUND
Depression worsens destitution


By Will Hoover
Advertiser Staff Writer

Hawaii news photo - The Honolulu Advertiser
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HOW TO DONATE

If you want to help, send checks, payable to "The Advertiser Christmas Fund," to Helping Hands Hawai'i, 2100 N. Nimitz Highway, Honolulu, HI 96819.

Monetary donations may also be dropped off at any First Hawaiian Bank branch or The Advertiser's cashier's desk, or credit card donations can be accepted by phone at 440-3831.

Donations will be accepted through Jan. 2.

To schedule a donation pickup for large items, to make a monetary donation by phone, or to get information regarding adopting a family, call 440-3800 or e-mail hhh@helpinghandshawaii.org.

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Jae Sook Kim, 54, is a single mother who grapples daily with depression, financial hardship and an adolescent son on Family Court probation and in a residential treatment program.

Kim and her son, who is now 15, are close. However, because she could not manage his conduct disorder, he was in constant trouble — truancy, illegal substance abuse, running away, among other things.

Many of Kim's difficulties stem from an abusive relationship with her former spouse — not only because of the mistreatment she suffered personally, but from the trauma her son experienced during that time, said Christina Kuba, case manager with the Honolulu Family Guidance Center.

Kuba said the boy's conduct disorder is largely a result of the domestic violence he witnessed as a younger child. Kuba added that he has made significant progress in treatment and should soon be reunited with his mother.

Meanwhile, Kim struggles on several fronts. She is unable to work because she suffers from depression. Other than two adult sons, she has few relatives or friends who could comfort or support her emotionally. She speaks little English, which limits her ability to communicate with some who might be in a position to help.

Recently she lost her housing because she was unable to pay rent. She is virtually destitute since her only source of income is a minimal amount of Supplemental Security Income. For the time being, she is living with her former in-laws, for which she is thankful. But she understands the situation is temporary.

For Christmas, Kim would like to give her son some small, special gift as a reward for his behavioral gains. She would also like to provide a holiday meal for those who have taken her in as a way of showing her gratitude.

"This family has endured much hardship and have very little finances and minimal support systems," Kuba said. "They would appreciate any assistance to brighten the holidays."

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