If this is, truly, to be the 30th — and last — Pro Bowl in Hawai'i for who-knows-how-long, we can't let the occasion pass without recalling some memorable only-at-the-Pro Bowl episodes and quotes from the past.

So, if you think you know your Pro Bowl trivia — and, really, what could be more trivial than facts about a football all-star game that takes place in February — test your knowledge.

The grand prize will be an opportunity to sit in front of the TV to watch the 2010 Pro Bowl from Miami. Unless the NFL imposes a blackout.

1. I was a Pro Bowl starter at quarterback and went to the airport soon after. When head coach George Seifert couldn't find me on the sideline in the third quarter and asked about my whereabouts, somebody told him, "(He's) probably over Yuma, Ariz., by now."

2. I was a pretty good running back, but geography wasn't a strong point. So, when I was asked about being voted to the Pro Bowl in Hawai'i, I said I preferred someplace closer: "The United States is OK by me."

3. Joe Montana liked to tell the story about his first Pro Bowl when I was the head coach and set the tone, telling the players: "Men, our goal this week is to be on the beach by 11:30. I'm just here to play golf, so get to know your assistant coaches."

4. I was the winner of the Dan McGuire outstanding player award in 2002, but when it came time to award the trophy one of the NFL minions realized it was at the hotel. So a bowling trophy from the stadium office was hastily substituted, prompting sportscaster Dan Fouts to crack, "They were never like that when I won the MVP."

5. Which ex-Oakland Raider said of the Pro Bowl: "It seems they ruin it by having a football game."

6. I was a 1992 Pro Bowl center who figured I owed the selection to voters mistaking my place on the ballot with that of my brother, a former Pro Bowler with the same first initial.

7. I was a first-round draft pick who suffered injuries to four ligaments in the left knee and nerve damage, not by anything that happened at Aloha Stadium, but after playing in an NFL-hosted rookie beach flag football game.

8. Coaching in Pro Bowls was serious business and made me hungry. That's why I'd have a relative go to the concession stand and slide me hot dogs to eat on the sidelines during the game.

9. When practice was running a little long one day, I was quoted as telling coaches to "Let's hurry this up, I got a facial scheduled for 1:30."

10. As the losing coach in the NFC Championship game, I wasn't thrilled about a Pro Bowl return, saying, "Damn, I did not want to go to Honolulu. I've already been to Hawai'i 16 times."

Answers: 1. Troy Aikman; 2. Marion Butts; 3. John McKay; 4. Rich Gannon; 5. Lincoln Kennedy; 6. Joel Hilgenberg; 7. Robert Edwards; 8. Barry Switzer; 9. Mark Carrier; 10. Switzer.

Reach Ferd Lewis at flewis@honoluluadvertiser.com or 525-8044.