They say bowling is a dying sport, and if you look at the number of alleys closing around the country, and right here in the 50th state, it would be hard to challenge that. Down from a one-time high of 31 bowling centers, there are now only three public houses on O'ahu; Aiea Bowl, Leeward Bowl and Pali Lanes. There are numerous reasons for these closures, but most believe it is directly related to land costs and, more interestingly, the changing nature of the American family. Where once we bowled together with family and friends in weeknight leagues, we now bowl alone or in very small groups.

As a social worker with a vested interest in families in general and one family in particular — my own — I find the demise of the bowling alley particularly painful. So it was with mixed feelings that I, with family in tow, returned to Aiea Bowl as my alma mater kicked off alumni week with the 10th Annual Maryknoll Family Bowl-a-Rama. I was overjoyed to be back at my old stomping ground, the site of so many of my boyhood memories, but fearful too, like when you visit an aging aunt and realize this may be the last time.

As it turned out, I need not have worried. Aiea Bowl, after an extensive retooling, is perfectly positioned for the new millennium. They have brought the family back to the bowling alley and bowling back to the family. Aiea Bowl has it all: outstanding cuisine from The Alley Grill tailored to local tastes; a video arcade; and a revamped interior designed to resemble the family living room, complete with sofas and coffee tables.

True to its name, the Family Bowl-a-Rama brought out the family en force. We filled the alley with more than 90 bowlers, but one family in particular caught my attention. On lanes 13 and 14 I saw a father and mother, both in their 50s, bowling with their two adult daughters. They, I imagined, represented all that was good about bowling and all that will be lost if bowling goes the way of the dinosaur. They gently teased and openly challenged one another. They hooted for strikes, booed for splits, and begged for spares. They loved bowling but more importantly they loved each other.

No, nothing compares to bowling for family fun. Think about it, the sport is played in a house, you bowl on cozy lanes, and the terms used in the game are often family focused. The 7-10 split is called the bedposts, the 1-2-4-7 is a clothesline, random pins left standing are grandma's teeth and any pin hiding behind another pin is considered the mother-in-law. How much evidence do you need?

Families need places to gather. Wiis are fun but often isolating. Families are best when around other families, that's why we have annual gatherings, reunions, and yes ... bowling alleys. Individuals need an out, but families need an outlet, and I believe bowling is the answer. Just ask the family on lanes 13 and 14: They know the secret to a happy family, a whole lotta love and a pair of lanes.

Michael C. DeMattos is on faculty at the University of Hawai'i Myron B. Thompson School of Social Work. Born and raised on the Wai'anae Coast, he now lives in Kane'ohe with his wife, daughter, two dogs and two mice.