As our first child, our daughter naturally received most of our focus. Her mellow temperament meant that she would sit calmly through meetings, gym workouts and even formal dinners several hours long. Therefore it was relatively easy for us to take her with us wherever we went, and she was my near-constant sidekick. In addition, she was the first grandchild on both sides, so she certainly had her share of attention.

This was all to change, shortly after she turned 2, with the birth of our son. At first, our daughter was slightly puzzled by our tiny new arrival, who spent most of his time sleeping, crying or feeding. However, she was intrigued, and watched him closely while holding onto the "It's a Boy!" balloons. Plus, even though visitors would ooo and aah over the newborn, our grandparents were in town to give her extra TLC.

The novelty soon dissipated, however, and one afternoon she had a full-blown tantrum, shrieking wide-eyed at the top of her lungs and banging her head. She wanted to put into words what our neighbor's son had inquired shortly after his little sister was born, "Can we return the baby to the hospital now?"

Though that was her only major meltdown, her resentment took on more subtle forms. Whether jealousy or curiosity spurred her to pull, poke, or otherwise bother the baby, we will never know, but before Grandpoppy left after a visit, he admonished, "Never leave them alone together."

With the grandparents back on the Mainland, our daughter additionally felt bored. Baby No. 2 was not as easily portable, and as a newborn, he needed naps and feedings often, so we couldn't go out as much. Plus, his persistent crying meant that a lot of our time was spent soothing him.

We tried hard to spend alone time with our daughter, and even made an effort to focus more on her when we all were together. However, the reality was that she would never be the complete center of our attention again.

Her new strategy, therefore, was to act like a baby so that she could garner at least part of the spotlight. Although we had gone over the benefits of being a big sister, she began crawling, mouthing and babbling. When I nursed the infant, she would clamber up onto my lap for a hug. She began resisting bedtime, sobbing, "I want my water!" when what she really meant was, "I want my mommy and daddy!"

Eventually she began channeling more of her energies into being our helper. She enjoyed interpreting baby's cries, burping him, making him laugh, and even protecting him. Sharing toys was still hard, though.

"Baby come out of the tummy like this - swoosh! — then crawl, crawl, crawl — then grab toys," our daughter, making hand motions, summarized his first six months.

While having a sibling continues to be an adjustment, there has been progress. Our keiki are starting to play together, and she even began sharing a few toys.

"Where's baby?" she actually asked the other week, and looked lonely when we told her he was sleeping in the other room. At that moment, I knew, thankfully, that she was starting to see him as less of a rival, and more as the companion that he will hopefully be.

Monica Quock Chan is a freelance writer who lives in Honolulu with her husband and children.